I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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