I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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