the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
