are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize