I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
