did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
