I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
