just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
sex in a hospital.. check
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
