...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
