No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
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He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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