Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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