Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
