Who did Billy Mays play for?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
