not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize