so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
