1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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