I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
