No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
