I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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