if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
