Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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