Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
