"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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