I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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