Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
