that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
