break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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