I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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