can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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