I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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