apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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