holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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