you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
