I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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