Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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