i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
