I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My day in three words: secret purse cake
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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