Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
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Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
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I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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