Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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