Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
