I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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