dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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