Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
