i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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