two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
