You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Drunk is a universal language darling
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
