Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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