In the future we'll all be gay
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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