I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
