its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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