THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
