We're facebook friends in real life
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
