i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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