I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
