I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.