Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.