ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.