I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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