actually, I'm a sock model
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
