i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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