this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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