2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
