it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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