Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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