Too much gin, very little bucket
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The struggles of a small town man whore
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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