bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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