He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
