For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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