So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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